Dieting as A Symptom of Unworthiness.

health-wellbeing | 0 comments

Hello Pilgrim,

Here we are. A new year. 

Exactly 8 years to the day I first stepped foot in the room I would visit every Thursday evening, for 18 months, straight. 

I first sat with Catherine O Grady of Nirvana Therapy Centre on Jan 5th 2010. I was in a crisis of wrongness, one I had tried and failed, over and over again, to ‘solve’ by dieting. 

I thought I was lacking self esteem. What Catherine helped me discover, was that what I was really lacking, was a sense of self and that I simply did not feel worthy of a ‘me’. 

It was here that my recovery of and from, began. 

I’d love to tell you I am recovered. In many ways I am but when it comes to food, I’m not. I am still at the mercy of a pattern so ingrained, it remains a mythical notion to me, that I will ever be free.

In saying that, I have recovered enough of a ‘self’, to keep me hopeful and connected to the process. 

Editing this video was a little uncomfortable for me, if I’m honest. But in a ‘good’ way, that ‘hard kind of good’ way. The editing process requires that I replay and listen to myself and this conversation with Catherine repeatedly, over a matter of hours. I have spent the last year in a free fall of binge eating. It confronted me with myself in a way I couldn’t ‘skip over’ and in this video, I could really ‘see’ the me, who’s struggling. 

In this video, myself and Catherine have a conversation about the condition of Unworthiness, how it manifests in eating disorders and how chronic dieting is often a symptom of this distress.

We talk about recovery as a language of freedom and staying connected to the learning process. 


Catherine offers in person and Skype counselling as well as facilitating a weekly support group in Limerick, for anyone seeking recovery from ED and their families. Catherine is affiliated with The Marino Therapy Centre, Institute for Eating Distress Studies, Dublin.

I hope this chat is helpful and of comfort to you. 


Always, Amanda xoxo


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